To drive the school bus you have to pass a list of certifications. All of these are obtained at the beginning of your training but expire periodically, and none of them at the same time. I'm finding also that some organizations certify you longer than others. It's interesting but not too anoying.
Today I needed to retake my CPR recertification. I wasn't prepared for how it would throw me.
This instructor was very young and very entertaining. Sadly I just was not able to be entertained. I had questions I'd never had before, and comments that shouldn't be voiced. I did raise my hand once but he glanced away before he saw me. I just wanted to know had he ever done CPR on a real person. I know I have an uncanny ability to think during stressful situations. It's afterward at unexpected moments like these that my feelings surface. I can drive 90 mph down Broadway, make every light green to get a finger to the hospital that a child had cut off so it can be sewn back on in time. I can remember a blanket when someone I love falls and is waiting for parametics. I can remain calm when others need to go to the hospital and carry on needed conversations while we wait in the waiting room. Sadly I know that if my bus were in an accident that I could preform CPR and break a child's ribs to save his life. But here I am with tears and a broken heart over a silly class that I've taken before. Some days I just don't want to be big, or responsible, or in charge. I just want to be a little girl who can sit on granddad's lap and get a hug and a kiss, and maybe a bandaid. This may be gone in the morning but poor Mikie is so sick and I just want to let him sleep. Tommorrow I'll get my hug and kiss and I know he knows where the bandaids are. For now I think I just sneak off to bed and see how much room he left me. It's only 11:10pm a little late for me.
Today I needed to retake my CPR recertification. I wasn't prepared for how it would throw me.
This instructor was very young and very entertaining. Sadly I just was not able to be entertained. I had questions I'd never had before, and comments that shouldn't be voiced. I did raise my hand once but he glanced away before he saw me. I just wanted to know had he ever done CPR on a real person. I know I have an uncanny ability to think during stressful situations. It's afterward at unexpected moments like these that my feelings surface. I can drive 90 mph down Broadway, make every light green to get a finger to the hospital that a child had cut off so it can be sewn back on in time. I can remember a blanket when someone I love falls and is waiting for parametics. I can remain calm when others need to go to the hospital and carry on needed conversations while we wait in the waiting room. Sadly I know that if my bus were in an accident that I could preform CPR and break a child's ribs to save his life. But here I am with tears and a broken heart over a silly class that I've taken before. Some days I just don't want to be big, or responsible, or in charge. I just want to be a little girl who can sit on granddad's lap and get a hug and a kiss, and maybe a bandaid. This may be gone in the morning but poor Mikie is so sick and I just want to let him sleep. Tommorrow I'll get my hug and kiss and I know he knows where the bandaids are. For now I think I just sneak off to bed and see how much room he left me. It's only 11:10pm a little late for me.
5 comments:
I know how you fell mom.
Thanks for the leaky eyes.
I hope you never have to do CPR on anyone.
I love you, Ginger.
Dear Ginger... I hope you feel better soon. But it's OK to be a little girl sometimes. Even if you're all grown up.
Love from Ellen
Got my hug and kiss, no bandaids needed. A new day does wonders. I love Mikie.
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